Joke Page and one-liners

Why not, right? Everybody needs some humor. I'll start.

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?" The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."

And one more for fun ...

Jesus one day meets a group of theologians and asks them the question,"Who do you say that I am?"

They reply ,"Why Jesus you are the eschatological manifestation of the divine incarnational theological principle as soteriologicallly exemplified through the paschal mysterion as mysterium tremendendans et facienans at the Omega point as logos or Verbum Divinum in history!"

To which He responded, "Er, what?"